Upsidasium Episode 17: The Missing Mountain or Peek-a-Boo Peak/Transcript
Narrator: 'Well, our heroes are slowly closing in on the lost mountain and Bullwinkle's upsidasium mine. They found some primitive markers in the desert pointing the way to Mount Flatten, but to their dismay, the last marker pointed back the way they had come. '''Bullwinkle: '''Anything I can't stand is a sign post that talks back to itself. '''Rocky: '''But this means we must've passed Mount Flatten. '''Bullwinkle: '''Passed it? Look back the way we came. No mountain there. '''Rocky: '''Yeah, it's pretty flat, all right. '''Bullwinkle: '''You don't suppose somebody buried it accidental-like. '''Rocky: '''Not a whole mountain. Now let's think. '''Natasha: '''Boris, dollink, what do you suppose happened to mountain? '''Boris: '''Simple, Natasha. Somebody stoled it. '''Natasha: '''Boris, who would steal enormous mountain? '''Boris: '''I would! '''Rocky: '''Bullwinkle, I think I got it! '''Bullwinkle: '''I'm all ears, Rock. Except in front where I'm mostly nose. '''Rocky: '''If Mount Flatten isn't back there... '''Bullwinkle: '''And it isn't. '''Rocky: '...and it isn't ahead there... 'Boris: '''And it isn't. '''Rocky: '...and it isn't down there... 'Natasha: '''Obviously, dollink. '''Rocky: '...ergo, it must be...up there! (Rocky points up to the sky) '''Bullwinkle: ''(gasps) Oh, for gunny sacks! '''Narrator: '''Yes, incredible though it seemed, there, hovering miles over their heads, was an enormous, regulation-size, official mountain peak. '''Bullwinkle: '''So that's Mount Flatten! '''Rocky: '''No wonder it's not on the map. '''Bullwinkle: '''But how come it's up in the air? '''Rocky: '''Well, that's easy, Bullwinkle! Upsidasium! ''(Bullwinkle rubs his finger on Rocky's chin in affection) Bullwinkle: 'And a cootchy-cootchy to you, too! But why is-- '''Rocky: '''I mean Mount Flatten is full of that anti-gravity metal...upsidasium! '''Natasha: '''You hear, Boris? '''Boris: '''You said it, Natasha. '''Natasha: '''Upsidasium! '''Boris: '''This time we hit jackpot! '''Natasha: '''What next, dollink? '''Boris: '''What else? Get rid of Moose and Squirrel! '''Rocky: '''Now the only thing to worry about is how to get up there. '''Bullwinkle: '''I'll handle that, Rock. '''Rocky: '''Getting us up there? '''Bullwinkle: '''No. Worrying about it. '''Rocky: '''Well, you give me a start, and I'll try flying up, Bullwinkle. '''Bullwinkle: '''Right. Let's go. '''Rocky: '''Alley-- '''Bullwinkle: '--oop! 'Narrator: '''And Bullwinkle launched Rocky high into the air. Up, up, up he went, nearer and nearer to the bottom of Mount Flatten. Then, as his momentum slackened, he flew slower and slower. '''Rocky: '''Golly. I'm gonna stall out. '''Narrator: '''And stall he did, just inches from his goal. ''(Rocky falls on Bullwinkle's head) 'Rocky: '''Next time ought to do it, Bullwinkle. '''Natasha: '''Oh, he didn't did it. '''Boris: '''Next time, he might. We must stop him. '''Natasha: '''How, dollink? '''Boris: '''Observe, Natasha. A villain's best friend. Old abandoned mine shaft. '''Natasha: '''It's deep, dollink? '''Boris: '(laughs) Listen. 'Narrator: '''And Boris picked up a pebble and dropped it into the shaft. Three minutes later, the pebble still hadn't hit bottom. '''Natasha: '''Oh, that should be deep enough. But how you'll get them in? '''Boris: '''Easy. I change sign. '''Narrator: '''And quickly, Boris replaced the DANGER sign on the shaft with one which said "ELEVATOR--UP ONLY." Then the two villains retired to see if their plan would work. '''Natasha: '''Boris, what kind of idiot would try to go up in elevator shaft that goes only down? '''Boris: '''That kind of idiot! ''(Bullwinkle approaches the shaft) 'Bullwinkle: '''Hey, Rocky! Our problem is solved! Here's a elevator shaft-- ''(Rocky runs to warn Bullwinkle) 'Rocky: '''Bullwinkle, don't do it! '''Bullwinkle: '''Don't do what? ''(Bullwinkle falls into the shaft) '''Rocky: '''That. '''Bullwinkle: ''ROCKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!'' Rocky: '''Never fear, Bullwinkle! I'm coming! '''Narrator: '''And the fearless squirrel zoomed down the shaft after his friend. Instantly, Boris leaped from his hiding place and boarded up the entrance to the mine shaft. '''Boris: '''Oh, Boris, you are one smart fiend! '''Natasha: '''Only one thing, dollink. '''Boris: '''Hmm? '''Natasha: '''How we're going to get up to mountain? '''Boris: ''(chuckles)''' '''Easy! Moose throws Squirrel up, Squirrel throws rope down. Then I-I--Ai yi yi! I got to save them! '''Narrator: '''And Boris flew to the mine shaft just an instant too late. ''(THUMP!) 'Natasha: '''What was that, dollink? '''Boris: '''Only one thing makes noise like that. '''Natasha: '''What? '''Boris: '''Moose on the rocks! '''Narrator: '''Is Boris Badenov right...again? We'll see next time in ''"Go Down Mooses" ''or ''"The Fall Guy."